Snowpocalypse Asheville – “The Weather Wimp’s Guide to Winter Survival”

Hey Guys, Snowpocalypse in Asheville?

It’s going to going to be very interesting over the next couple of days. Parts of Asheville are expected to have 10 inches of the fluffy white stuff on the ground by the end of the weekend. Snowpocalypse in Asheville!

Which is really scary since Asheville has an eclectic mix of Northern transplants (who apparently aren’t afraid of any kind of bad weather) , native born Western North Carolinians (who know that snow storms and post-melt black ice are killers here in the mountains), and people who are from other warmer regions (who think both of the other groups are crazy and/or paranoid).

So just to help keep us all safe here is a guide I found online. Stay warm, stay safe and enjoy! (Oh, and by the way, we’re closed until Monday!)

The Weather Wimp’s Guide to Winter Survival

by Paul Myers

“If you live in an area that’s expecting more snow than usual this weekend, like, for instance, the Northeastern US or Washington DC, read this. If not, skip to the next part.

The basics:

Don’t be out when a major snowstorm is expected, stay home. If the storm hits and you’re somewhere you can stay for the duration, stay put. If they have Netflix and snacks, even better.

90% of safe driving in snow comes down to two words: Drive slower.

Really. That’s most of it.

If you hear “ice storm,” though, just stay inside. I don’t care what kind of tires you have or how slow you drive, ice can kill you. Even if you have a “tank,” with the best studded tires on the market and extensive training in stunt driving, the idiot behind you trying to do the speed limit doesn’t.

Not to mention the whole trees and power lines falling on your head thing. That can be inconvenient.

The only thing you should be driving in an ice storm is your recliner.

….

Hat and gloves. Good ones. A scarf to cover your face, if it’s gonna be windy.

Keep a warm blanket in the car. More if you expect to have passengers. Some power bars or canned nuts in the glove box wouldn’t hurt, either.  Ya know those tin-foil-looking mylar “space blankets?”

They work. They’re cheap, they’re miracles of heat retention, and they take up very little space. You can slip one of those into your briefcase and no-one would ever notice.

You can pick up a 10-pack on Amazon for under $10. While you’re at it, buy a pack or two for the local homeless shelter or food bank.

Keep a shovel in your car. One of those little trenching tools is good, if you’re short on space. Cat litter can give you traction if you’re stuck in a slick spot.

Take it easy when clearing the driveway. If you’re not in top shape, you’re more likely to die of a heart attack shoveling snow than you are to freeze to death.

If you leave any non-Arctic dog outside in a blizzard, you don’t deserve to have a pet. Huskies and Malamutes love it. Your golden retriever won’t.

Make sure you have a manual can opener. A good one, not one of those stamped metal things from the dollar store that will break half way through your first can of Campbell’s Chicken Noodle. If the power goes out, you’ll thank me for this.

Candles are your friend. They don’t lose their charge no matter how long they’re in storage, and they provide some heat along with the light. Don’t forget matches or a lighter.

A mix of 1/3 water and 2/3 rubbing alcohol makes a very effective de-icing spray. It will not freeze at any temperature you’d survive for more than 40 seconds, so you can keep it in the car or the garage.

If your neighbors are elderly or have very young kids, check on them occasionally.

Be careful out there.”